Dear Lower School Parents,

This Tuesday Sharon, Heidi and I met with a small group of you to think together about talking with children about lesbian and gay issues.

The conversations that teachers have in the classroom as well as the upcoming Families Assembly are made richer by the talk that occurs at home. Of course, lesbian and gay-related talk reaches children from many directions, not just from school. We want to help them reach a level of understanding that mirrors their stage of development. As in other areas in which values are central, we emphasize human decency, equity – social justice.

In our early childhood classrooms, the focus is on families. These may be lesbian- or gay-headed, single parent, grandparent, bi- or multi-racial. The “Families Curriculum” is a way for young children to learn about themselves and others. In one way, family is our children’s first “community”. When asked, “What is a family?”, the answer is often, “People who love each other.” Teachers spend a lot of time talking with children about differences and similarities, about respecting others for who they are, not what they have or what they look like. These conversations add meaning and resonance to young children’s learning.

In upper elementary years, students are familiar with discussions regarding lesbian- and gay-headed families. They have attended Visibility and participated in numerous classroom conversations. Around Third and Fourth Grades, students begin to hear, if not participate in, some name-calling, and their attention begins to turn from families to themselves and their friends. Teachers include the dynamic of name-calling within larger social justice conversations. Teasing and bullying are addressed, and students consider the choice of responding as “activist” or “bystander” when they witness unkind behavior.

A lively part of this week’s parent conversation focused on “real-life” situations; ones that our children may bring to us. I’d like to share those here, so we can all be thinking about possible responses and/or questions should one of these situations arise. As always, Sharon, Heidi and I are happy to talk individually with you, as well. See you at the exhibit!

1. Your six-year-old has a friend over for a play date and they’ve built a huge house out of Legos. Your son says, “Our house will have two dads and three kids.” “Naw, I don’t like that,” says his friend. “There has to be a mom. It’s nicer.” You’re nearby. What do you say, if anything?

2. Your Fourth Grader is on the phone with a friend. This is what you overhear: “Yah, we’re talking about THAT again! Lesbian moms, gay dads, yada, yada…Enough already!” When he hangs up, he’s laughing. Do you comment?

3. Parents of a classmate of your daughter are talking in the hallway. They’re upset. Really upset. “When we joined this school we knew it was sympathetic to lesbian and gay issues. Fine. But we had no idea you’d be talking about them in class. Our daughter is only four-years-old, just figuring things out. Why does she need to know about this now?!? Aren’t there more important things to deal with, like friendship?” How do you respond?

4. Your eight-year-old son just read that Cheryl Swoopes has announced she is lesbian. He asks you, “How come she never said that before? Would she lose her job?”

5. Your seven-year-old daughter has a close friend with lesbian moms. One of the moms is expecting a second child, and your daughter is full of questions: “How can she be pregnant? There’s no dad! I don’t get it!” You’re just about to put dinner on the table. How do you respond?

6. “There’s that new boy. He is sooo gay!” says your nine-year-old daughter as you’re walking to school. “All he wants to do is play with the girls. He’s ridiculous!”

7. You’re in the car with your Third Grade son and your parents, his grandparents. He’s talking about a meeting in school and begins listing achievements made by lesbian and gay people throughout history. Your parents are shocked, “Exactly what kind of a school are you sending him to?!?” You, in fact, support conversations around lesbian and gay issues, but what do you say to your parents? To your son?

You’re talking with another parent at dismissal time while your Fourth Grader and theirs toss a football back and forth. When your son fumbles the ball, the other boy good-naturedly shouts out, “You faggot! That was an easy catch!” Do you intervene or pretend you didn’t hear?

Elaine

This Week's Attachments:

Dorothy and Romy's First Grade

Colleen and Ronnie's Second Grade

Chap, Michael and Barrett's Third Grade

Spanish Resource List


Announcements:

Don't forget about Life in Independent Schools for LGBT Families - Parent Panel Discussion and Q & A next Thursday, February 9 at 6:00PM.

The LREI PA Community Service Committee is once again collecting donations for Room to Grow from Monday, February 13 through Friday, February 17 in the Sixth Avenue lobby. Get a heart for making a donation! Donated items can be anything appropriate for a child from newborn to three years that is in good condition (something you would pass on to a friend or family member). Room to Grow does not accept stuffed animals, reacalled items, furniture, diapers, car seats or cribs.

If you would like a tax donation receipt, please label all your boxes and bags with your name and address. Please hold on to larger items until the last collection day, Thursday, February 16. For more information on the organization and a more detailed list of what is accepted, go to www.roomtogrow.com.


In the next few weeks...

2/2 - TONIGHT - Art Auction Reception and Final Bidding, 6:00-8:00PM

2/6 - VISIBILITY photos on display

2/8 - 8:45AM - Second Grade Assembly

2/9 - 6:00PM - Life in Independent Schools for LGBT Families - Parent Panel Discussion and Q & A

2/13 - 6:00PM - VISIBILITY photo exhibit Opening Reception

2/14 - 8:45AM - Parents of Children of Color Meeting

2/15 - 8:45AM - Families Assembly (students only)

2/15-2/17 - Fourth Grade ERB testing

2/16 - 8:45AM - Parent Rep Meeting

2/20-2/21 - School Closed for Presidents' Weekend

2/23-2/24 - Lower School Art Show

Click here for the full calendar.